Thursday, May 2, 2019

Argentina/Chile/Patagonia "O" Circuit


The “O” circuit 2018
This year it became official. My wife will no longer drive to JFK Airport. The traffic jams on the VanWyck Expressway are so bad that I can no longer ask anyone I care for to drive me to JFK and subject themselves to that kind of frustration without paying them good money. I took the Trailways bus from my home town of Rosendale, NY (about a 2- hour ride) to the Port Authority bus terminal in mid-town Manhattan. From there I took another hour-long bus ride to JFK via the Airporter bus that runs hourly from the Port
Authority, Grand Central, and Penn Station to JFK so that your wife doesn't sue for emotional distress.
I caught a 10: 30PM flight to Buenos Aires Argentina, via Sao Paulo, Brazil. I flew on Latin American Airlines and 14 hours later arrived at the Ayers Recoleta hotel in the toney Recoleta section of the city where tango was born. As usual, when traveling to a South American city, I heard the typical precautions: I would most certainly be robbed at knife point on the street, and that all the cabdrivers would either kidnap me or rip me off by charging double the normal rate.
The sections of Buenos Aires that I visited were in fact safe, sophisticated, urbane; filled with shops, cafes and educated people who, for the most part spoke admirable English. Buenos Aires has a strong European flavor to it. Other parts of South America are populated by a stronger mix of indigenous culture. Buenos Aires not only has the flavor of its or earliest hegemonic Spanish settlers but also of later migrations of Italians and Germans. The city has charm and abounds with the kind of architecture you would find in France or Italy. I had no trouble finding suave places to hang out.
The biggest attraction in the Recoleta was a cemetery. This was not a typical cemetery with granite headstones, tall trees and green grass. It was more like an upscale neighborhood for rich dead people. Each mausoleum was a large, ornate, residence constructed in elegant rows like brownstones in the upper east side of Manhattan. The mausoleums themselves were gaudily decorated in a melodramatic South American Catholic style: lots of thorns and crying saints. Eva Peron, the beloved first lady of Argentina during the 1950s and the subject of the Broadway musical
Evita is buried here. Due to her humble roots, it took a while to get her admitted to this elite necropolis. There are no signs that will direct you to the tomb of Eva Peron: you have to ask one of the
security guards where it is. When I finally found the proper site, it was already crowded with people seeking to have their picture taken next to the grave of the illustrious Evita.
It was late December, just after Christmas, and the temperatures were hot and humid in Buenos Aires. On the second day there I made the preposterous decision to go jogging. There is a beautiful wildlife refuge, the Reserva Ecologia Costanera Sur, that stretches along the oceanfront shoreline of the city. I had to jog about 2 miles to just get to the refuge. I jogged another couple of miles through the refuge and then another few miles back to my hotel. I was moving slowly and schvitzing like a schmendrick. I would've felt more peculiar if it hadn't been for the fact that there were legions of other joggers right there with me at the Reserva Ecologia Costanera Sur. They were tanned, younger, better-looking than me, and did not seem as bothered by the heat as I was. This was normal for these denizens. Most of them simply ran shirtless. Damn.
I wanted to stay in decent physical shape because Buenos Aires was simply a stop on the way to Patagonia where I was planning to embark upon a 10-day hike around the Torres del Paine. Getting there would entail a three-hour flight to Santiago, Chile then another, to Punta Arenas and ultimately, the next day, a 2-hour bus ride to Puerto Natales.
The excitement began when I took a cab to the airport. On the way to the city of Buenos Aires I had taken a cab for a short distance and a $10 fare into the city. On the day of departure from BA the hotel hailed me a cab and they asked me if I was going to an international location.
Since Chile is a different country from Argentina, I told them to go to the international airport. It turns out that there is more than one airport. My ride to the first airport was about an hour from the city. It cost $80. When I got there and tried to check into my flight they told me I was at the wrong airport and that the right airport was a good hour
drive by taxi. I had about an hour and a half before the flight departed. The airline employee at the desk printed me a boarding pass for the flight that was waiting at the airport an hour away and then I frantically sought a cabdriver who would take me to the correct airport at the speed of sound. Fortunately, it took only a couple of minutes to find the appropriate driver. He went through heavy traffic with the skill of a test pilot. He performed reckless, unlawful acts that I applauded loudly and he got me there on time. The final bill was $120. This mistake cost me a total of nearly $200 and a good hour and a half of high stress. I had to go straight to the gate bringing my 50-pound expedition bag down the gangway to gate check it. They looked at me like I was mad as a March hare.
In Santiago, I thought for sure they would misplace my luggage and I would end up having it delivered to me days later in the nether regions of Tierra Del Fuego. As I got to the baggage claim, in Punta Arenas there was already a long line forming of people who had lost their luggage on one flight or another. I assumed that I would become another person in that line. It turned out that while I was waiting in the line, an airport employee came through with a big handcart carrying many pieces of luggage on it. One of those pieces was (gasp of relief) my 50-pound expedition bag. Fyew!!! If my luggage had been misplaced, all my trekking equipment would be unavailable at a time when I needed it the most. This would involve even more money to rent equipment once I got to Puerto Natales where I would meet with my fellow hikers and begin our adventure together.
Punta Arenas is small city that was built along the Magellan Straight on the Southern tip of Chile in Tierra del Fuego. The local people call this place “fin de la Mondo” and it feels that way. The landscape is flat, semi-arid and wide open like the high plains of Wyoming. The Austral winds blow in from the Antarctic and chill the late December air like the Maine coast in November. It is summer here although the average daytime high
is around 55 degrees Fahrenheit though the nighttime temperature seldom dips below 30 degrees Fahrenheit. At least some of each day is cloudy and periods of rain are the norm. When sun comes out it is strong, and Antarctic ozone depletion will cause intense UV rays to scorch unprotected skin.
I spent my first night in Punta Arenas at the Best Western Finis Terrae Hotel in the center of town. Not surprisingly, my bank card wouldn’t work in local ATM. I had informed my local bank that I was going to Chile, but this place must have spooked them. They immediately sent out a fraud alert.
Punta Arenas might not appeal to many travelers if it weren’t for the fact that it has the most convenient airport to the Torres del Paine national park which wins the most hiker polls for most beautiful place on earth.
I had come here to hike “O” circuit. This entails nine days of walking rugged trails around the circumference
Grande Massive de Paine.
The bus to Puerto Natales takes about two and a half hours from Punta Arenas and the landscape turns to rolling hills called the pampa: grasslands that support wild herds of llama with light brown fur and long proud necks with camel-like heads. Man-made structures are scarce and miles apart.
Puerto Natales is a mountaineering town like, Silverton, Colorado, Chamonix, France or Huaraz, Peru. These towns are surrounded by humble agrarian culture but cater to upscale skiers, climbers, and trekkers in trendy active wear who dine in posh/funky cafes and stay in adventure lodging. Puerto Natales has a gear shop on every corner and wholesome, hip eateries abound.
It would be the first day in 11 days of planned activity organized by G adventures. We were to meet at our assigned hotel at 5:45 with our guide Sergio. Slowly the 12 people on the tour showed up in the hotel dining room and informally introduced themselves to each other. The cast of characters included a middle-aged couple from Melbourne, Australia; two young women from the Netherlands; a young couple from Switzerland; a single woman from Adelaide Australia; a single woman from New York City via Belarus; an American single woman from Atlanta; two men in their 20s from Toronto; and a single middle-aged woman from London.
Sergio came promptly at 5:45 PM and launched into his introductory comments. He showed us a map of the 130-km route around the Grande Massive. He then gave us a list of general guidelines and things that we should bring along on the hike. He said that rain gear was essential because the weather in Patagonia could change quickly and one never knew if it would be sunny, rainy, hot or cold. Within a weight limit of no more than 5 kg we had to bring along: two pairs of socks, underwear, a pair of trekking pants, rain gear, a couple of shirts, a fleece, a headlamp, a first aid kit and, something to take pictures of breathtaking landscape with, and a pair of sandals to rest your tired feet in camp after a day of tramping over the mountain terrain.
We would be eating in refuges and sleeping in tents each night except for the first night and last night which we spent at the hotel in Puerto Natales. Each night we would hike into a designated Camping area and, if we were lucky, there would be working, hot showers, a decent meal, and some drinkable booze. Our days would be filled with walking over hilly terrain, sometimes very steep, and then showing up at the designated camp areas staggering with fatigue. A lot of the stuff for our expedition would be carried by a crew of six porters. These were all rock climbers from the area: handsome, strapping, young man who immediately caught the attention of the younger female
members of our expedition. These guys would carry packs that weighed 80 to 100 pounds. I had trouble even picking one up. The porters would place them on to their shoulders and run down the trail leaping like gazelles over rocks and roots.
Our first day of hiking entailed 23 km of walking up a very long hill to a moraine where one could, on a clear day, get a grand view of the famous Torres del Paine. Sadly, the towers were completely obstructed by low lying clouds. As the group ascended the final steep slope, rain, hail and wind began to hamper our progress and limit our pleasure.
At the end of the day we got on a little bus and went to a camp site where we were fed fantastic New Year’s Eve dinner. Pisco sours and Diablo red wine were poured with generosity. After dinner, we retired to a geodesic dome with beanbag chairs around the periphery and a big open dance floor in the middle. It turned out that one of the Dutch women had a great mix on her iPhone and a suitably loud, portable, bear-shaped speaker. Her name was Desiree, but she became known that night as DJ DeeZire. We danced to DJ DeeZire’s music throughout the night. We also played an uproariously silly game of truth or dare. This group was vivacious, joyful, convivial, congenial, and just one big hell of a lot of fun. By midnight when we rang in the new year we were all the closest of friends: hugging and kissing and wishing each other happy new year. Then we collapsed contentedly into our sleeping bags.
On the second day of our trek we ventured onto the, lesser traveled, “O” section of the trek. Peace and quiet were there for the pleasure of all who took the time to wonder its trails. We had a much shorter hike on the second day and Sergio stopped quite often to identify the local flora and fauna. He also gave long talks about the geology of the area. Sometimes these were interesting other times my mind wandered off and I simply enjoyed the scenery. This was a gentle hilly terrain: the grassy pampa lands around the
edges of the park. It was relaxing and painless day. In the evening we settled into our tents, took our showers and ate a good meal at the refuge washed with our usual rounds of Pisco sours and red Chilean wine. We always dined in the company of the porters who had a relentless energy and unending joyousness that infected the whole expedition. The Porters spent most of their spare time rock climbing on the sheer cliffs of the towers. This pastime is usually taken up by people with daring adventurous personalities. Each day on the trail they would run past us with their heavy rucksacks and we would stand on either side of the path with our hands extended to high five them like a sports team. We would shout out each of their names as they passed by and cheer them on. After all they were carrying all of our heavy stuff – including copious bottles of wine for the refuges that had no booze. The third day of the hike took us to Dickinson lake and wonderful views of the snowcapped mountains. It was an unusual day weather-wise for Patagonia in so far as the sky was clear and blue and the sunshine was warm. As has been noted many times over the recent years, the ozone layer of this part of the world has been depleted and the UV rays are unobstructed: blistering to those who forget to bring sun cream. It was a great picture taking day and we all took social media profile quality pictures in front of Dickinson lake. The campground at Dickinson was of good quality with tents on platforms. Each of the campgrounds we visited had plentiful numbers of tents that were already set up. This spared us the task of setting up and breaking down. In general, the tents were of high-quality and made by the most reputable of mountaineering equipment companies. There were always comfy pads in the tent and sleeping bags were provided. Some refer this as “glamping“ a combination of the words “glamorous”, and “camping”. Things were pretty soft when you consider the sumptuous meals that were provided at each refuge, and the comfortable atmosphere that included niceties like chocolate, booze, hot showers and useable toilets. I’m 63 years-old at this writing and have put in hundreds
of miles with a full pack on my back. I make no apologies for “glamping’. You would not experience any of this in the outermost reaches of treks in Peru, Africa, or the Himalayas where the designated campgrounds would have very little to offer besides squat toilets and perhaps potable water. This was more in line with many European trekking routes like the Tour du Mount Blanc, The Dolomites, the GR 10 or any number of other Caminos where each night you can stay at a comfortable refuge and carry light load (slackpacking) during the day.

On the fourth day of our trek we came into some mud. A lot of mud. Way too much mud. All day we spent doing a dance from rock to rock, root to root, and from one side of one trail to the other. We made up a game where we would sing popular songs and replace the word “love” with the word “mud “. This resulted in some rousing renditions of songs such as “All You Need is Mud”, “Falling in Mud Again”, and “Mud Stinks”. For a while I was referring to myself as the “Gangster of Mud “. By the end of the day most of us had prodigious amounts of mud on our shoes, socks, and pants. There was almost nothing we could do about this in so far as the unpredictable weather made impossible to wash clothes in the bathroom and then hang them on a line to dry outdoors.
The fifth day of the trek was considered to be the most difficult. If you looked at an elevation graph of the hike you would see that we go almost straight up and then almost straight down. The hike was about 23 km and it went over the famous John Gardener pass. Being a heart attack survivor and the oldest member of the expedition, I took my time and stayed behind the group when we were going up the mountain to the top of the pass. This looked strange to many of my mountaineering mates because I had actually been at the front of the pack up until this time. I made a conscious decision to put the
truck in low gear and take my time. The way down from the pass was an orthopedic challenge. The route was steep and fraught with slippery mud. Large steps mad from old railroad ties had been placed in the steepest areas so as to aid the hiker and to discourage erosion. For those of us with any kind of knee issues this was the hardest part of the trek. Fortunately, I have inexplicably good knees for a man my age. I hope that bragging about it won’t jinx me.
Once we made it down the other side of the pass we came into the area of Grey Lake and the immense Grey Glacier. Sergio told us that it was over 100 square miles in size. It was grand and endless with beautiful blocks of blue ice. It looked like a frozen lava flow.
On the sixth day, we rested at the opulent Grey refuge. The refuge dining room and bar were spacious, modern, well-lighted, and downright fancy. The fact that there was a rest day after the laborious crossing of the pass meant that we would be compelled to eat hearty and drink heavily. I drank Fernet, a bitter tasting liquor, mixed with Coca-Cola. Too many of these were purchased for me by playful porters who were interested in hearing about my past life in the 60s and 70s. They had me pegged as an old hippie. I can’t imagine how they got that idea. I told him that I indeed did smoke a lot of marijuana when I was young and that I took hallucinogenic drugs. They were delighted to hear this in so far as they were currently smoking a lot of marijuana and experimenting with LSD, peyote, and psilocybin. This led into deeper and deeper discussions about philosophy, existence, and Zen pursuits of nothingness. The more Fernet we drank, the headier the conversation became. I politely bowed out of the reveling at midnight. From my tent I could still hear the jubilant sounds of voices singing, music thumping, and my fellow wanderers hooting and hollering as I fell into a deep mountaineer’s sleep.
Day six, our rest day, was highlighted by an activity called the “whiskey walk “. It took place in the late afternoon hours before dinner. Someone had organized a bottle of Johnny Walker Red and some glasses. We carried them on a short walk down to the glacier. Sergio cautiously made his way onto the glacier and extracted the chunk of ice for us to break up into small pieces to put in our cocktail glasses. The ice sparkled in the southern light as we poured Johnny Walker over the crystals. The resulting cocktail was both elegant and exotic. It didn’t take much for us to feel a glow there on the edge of the beautiful Grey Glacier.
Day seven took us to the other side of the W circuit which we would be following for the rest of the hike. This was good and bad. It was good because some of the most stunning scenery is observed on the W circuit. It’s bad because there are many more people than on the “O”. Large groups would bottleneck on the trails. Day hikers in clean, well pressed clothes, came off the tour boat that docks at several refuges along the “W” circuit. At one lookout, we saw clean, delicate people with a picnic that included salmon, mustard, wine, and stemware served on a portable table with a spotless gingham tablecloth.
I had embarked upon this journey to Patagonia fully expecting plenty of rain, wind, and cold. All the guidebooks warned of this. I am happy to report that there was hardly any rain, or wind, during the first week of our hike. The last couple of days had more weather problems.
On the end of the eighth day we settled in for our usual refuge reveling at the end of a long hike. Sitting at my table, I started to hear chant from a table across the room where the porters were sitting. I could hear my name: Ree-chard! Ree-chard! Ree-chard! Ree- chard!. It was a rhythmic chant that started quietly and crescendoed to a fever pitch
accompanied by pounding on the table. I was being summoned. These guys had a fresh bottle of tequila, a bowl of sliced limes, another small bowl of salt, and they insisted that I join them. I felt like a mythic figure. I had learned how to drink tequila late in my high school years and continued it with great zeal into post-secondary education. I licked the web that connects the thumb and forefinger on the left hand; lightly sprinkled the area with salt; placed the lime between the thumb and forefinger of the same hand. In a fluid motion I licked the salt, drained the shot glass that was poised in my right hand and sucked on the lime slice in the proper way that a tequila drinker should. A great cheer went up. The porters began to chant my name again, Ree-chard! Ree-chard! Ree-chard! Ree-chard!. Again, I licked to salt, hoisted my glass, sucked on the lime, and pounded the glass on the table do the continued cheering applause of the porters. Ignoring the call for a second encore, I repaired to my comfortable tent to watch Netflix on my phone and stay the hell out of trouble.
It rained like hell on the night before the last day of the hike. And indeed, it rained like cows pissing during the first half of the last day. This made the trails muddy and the rivers run much higher than usual with blasting currents of whitewater. The first river crossing still had enough exposed rock to get across without getting your shoes and socks soaked. On the second crossing, I lost my balance and fell in. After that I simply walked straight through the water, come what may. I had seen through-hikers of the Pacific Crest trail do the same thing but was never tough enough to do it myself. My fellow trekkers soon followed suit and after a while it became childish fun to simply walk through the rushing currents, getting our shoes, socks and pants soaking wet. We were hiking in torrents of rain and getting soaked anyway. You would think this would make one miserable but actually I felt free as a bird. It reminded me of being 10 ,11 or 12 years old
when I would simply walk around in the rain all day with my friends and not really care that much. The final 2 miles of the hike were downhill and I started running down, down, down, getting way ahead of the other trekkers who were cheering me on. And that was it. As we reached the parking lot where the shuttle bus would soon arrive. The sun came out and we gathered in a circle, put our arms around each other and danced around and around and around chanting “O!!,O!!,O!!,O!!” Then we went to dry off.

Monday, April 22, 2019

Almost Dead


By the winter of 2004 I was almost dead. My daughter was in college; my older son was in his mid-teens and getting into the teenager thing; my younger son was 12 and starting a rock band. The US had made a full-scale invasion, which they called a "liberation", of Iraq. I was in the depths of my despair and cared little about anything besides getting through my day as painlessly as possible.
My wife had taken up racquetball. She and her friend Joanne played several times a week and we're passionate about the game. She worked hard at her racquetball game but, to her chagrin, she could not hold a candle to either me or our 12-year-old son on the racquetball court. We played frequently throughout the winter. It was good exercise and a great calorie burn. During the months of January and February the fingers in my left hand started tingling. I wasn't sure what to make of this. Perhaps it was just cold, and my circulation was poor. I continued my wretched eating, drinking and smoking habits with gusto. Despite all my bad habits I felt healthy and physically able until the middle of March. On St. Patrick’s Day of that year I played my usual gigs for the Peekskill Irish Mafia. As usual I drank myself blind. I played Muff in racquetball two days later on the 19th and had a nearly fatal heart attack.
It had been coming for a long time. I weighed 300 pounds and had a cavalier attitude toward my health: regularly eating triple cheeseburgers at Wendy’s, always getting a chocolate shake to wash it down. I joked that my 3 basic food groups were sugar, carbohydrates and grease. For gusto, I added excessive drinking, and atrial fibrillation to the mix.
It was a Friday evening and I played six games of racquetball with my wife. I won every game. I smoked a victory cigar in the parking lot, went back into the gym to relax in the hot tub then the steam room. Things got weird when I got into the shower and started to feel a strange tingling up and down my left arm. My chest felt heavy and I couldn’t get all the air I needed. By this time my wife had been working in an emergency room for several years. In the car, I told her I felt “kinda funny”. Without skipping a beat, she asked me if I wanted to go to the ER. Oddly enough, she was just about to change her place of employment from a big hospital across the river, with a big-time cardiology department, to a small-potatoes hospital across the street from where we were. She made the snap decision to drive 45 minutes to the hospital across the river.
That was okay. I really didn’t feel all that bad. I was feeling hungry; maybe we could stop at a diner along the way. She nixed the diner idea and took me straight to the ER. They totally freak out in those places when a 300 pound, 49-year-old man shows up complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, and tingling down the left arm. I went right to the front of the line. The nurse made me ride in a wheelchair. “I just played six games of racquetball” I protested. They weren’t having it. The cardiologist was just about to go home and didn’t think he needed to stick around for a guy who just played six games of racquetball. My wife, who knew him from working in the ER, persuaded him to check me out. After a half hour of tests, the cardiologist came back into the exam room to report the news. “Congratulations you have just given birth to a brand-new heart attack. Your life is about to change.”
I responded by saying: “Wow that’s weird. I wasn’t expecting that. I guess I’m going to be here for a while. I’m starved. Can we order some pizza?” He told me they can bring me a plate of hospital food. “Your pizza days are over.”
I hit a reset button. I went back to square one and slowly constructed a lifestyle that was healthy and sustainable for decades to come. I became a vegetarian, ran 5 miles a day, lost one hundred pounds, and became an avid mountaineer. This led me to climb all of the 4000 foot and above peaks in the Adirondacks and eventually all of the 3500 peaks and above in the Catskills. I climbed six of the Colorado 14er’s and then I climbed Mount Whitney the tallest mountain in the contiguous United States at 14 1/2 thousand feet in California. Then on to Kilimanjaro, the Andes, Alps, Pyrenees, and Himalayas.
What follows is a collection of journals that describe my middle-aged (and older) wanderings though the mountains of the world. Of course, I don’t forget to mention the drop-dead beauty of these places; or the extraordinary interactions with people I met along the way. But beyond the adventure of being in dangerous, exotic places is the is the exasperating undertaking of getting there and back safely. When all is said and done, some of the most invigorating experiences take place in taxis, airports, passport control, security checks, dirty lodgings, unsanitary restaurants, death-defying roadways, and primitive camping areas. Perhaps I’m unusual, but often the mishaps of getting there and back are just as memorable as the destinations themselves. It’s not unusual for these misadventures happen as soon as I walk out the front door of my home in the Hudson Valley. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the despicable will be presented here. When it’s all over, I remember even the worst of it fondly.
August 2001
At the age of 47 I decided to hike all 46 4000ft Adirondack peaks in Upstate New York. Since my weight was nearly 300 pounds and my health habits were deplorable this was, in retrospect, just another one of a long sequence of bad decisions. With my usual cavalier attitude, I decided to start with the highest peak and work my way down. With this in mind, I set out with my teenage son Luke to climb Mount Marcy, the highest peak in New York State at 5344 feet. Luke and I were not early risers and we didn’t manage to get on the trail until almost 10 AM. We started from the Adirondack Loj, where so many people do, and worked slowly up the wide, worn “Van Hovenberg Expressway”: the shortest trial to the Marcy summit. It ended up being about a 14.8-mile round trip with the added thrill of a 3,166 ft. ascent. Despite otherwise poor health habits, I had been running regularly and managed to stay on pace with Luke for the first couple of miles until we got to the Marcy Dam where he bounded like a gazelle into the woods and wasn’t seen again until I reached the summit about 45 minutes behind him. The climb was agony: long, and grueling. My clothes were soaked with sweat and it took me about 5 hours to get to the top. I was passed at one point by a group of ten-year-olds on their way to Phelps mountain which looked a lot easier than Marcy. I envied them. They probably had a good snicker watching me struggling my way up the rocky trail.
The weather was clear, and the views were vast and stunning. The trip down did not present the cardiovascular challenges that the ascent did. It did however present orthopedic challenges which became more apparent in my crippled state over the next week. My quads were stiff as a board and I had to walk down stairs backward for a few days. By the time I reached the Marcy Dam on the way back down I was dehydrated (I went through 4 sweat soaked t-shirts) and my legs felt like stubs. Against all better judgment I drank nearly a liter of water from the dam. I had brought along 2 liters of
Gatorade, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Luckily, I never got giardia. Luke waited in the parking lot for about an hour and was just heading back up the trail when I came stumbling out of the woods minutes before dark. Back at the motel we ate giant subs with chips. After dinner I had 6 cans of beer and a bag of chocolate chip cookies. Luke soaked in the tub and read Harry Potter for hours.
Not one to be deterred from pure foolishness, a month later Luke and I set out again (closer to 10:30 this time) to ascend the second highest peak. Since the hike up Algonquin was shorter in terms of miles (8.5) I thought it would be easier than Marcy. The ascent was 2936 ft. from the Adirondack loj. The steepness of the climb was strenuous for 300 pounds of middle-aged man. Again, Luke left me in the dust after the first turnoff. I lumbered, grunted, huffed and wheezed until I reached the bald summit. The last mile consisted of steep rock scrambles that made me wish I had suction cups. I thought for sure my life was coming to an end. My legs were like rubber and my lungs felt like they were stuffed with cotton. Luke passed me on his way back down. He was too cold and couldn’t wait on the summit any longer. I was so fatigued at the summit that I thought I would code. But after a nap and a few power bars, the color came back to my face and my heart stopped pounding. I started to notice things again: the beauty of the view, the attractiveness of the 25-year-old summit stewardess, the guy talking on his cell phone (the summit of Algonquin is one of the few places where they would work in the high peaks back then), and the affluent looking couple in their forties arguing about money. I had an excellent chat with the summit stewardess about the arctic, alpine vegetation and then proceeded to glissade down the steep rock face. Sliding on my butt seemed to save some wear and tear on my knees but it also tore up the back side of my pants. My muddy boxers were plainly visible to anyone who cared to look. The descent seemed like an endless succession of rocky creek beds that made me want to buy some
real hiking boots that would better protect my aching feet from the rocks and the mud. Speaking of which: there was a thick layer of mud stuck to the backs of my calves. Other hikers must have been impressed by my ripped shorts and my grimy appearance. One asked me quite excitedly “Wow did you just climb Algonquin?” Indeed, I had. The walk was only 9 1⁄2 hours instead of the 10 it took me to hike Marcy. Back in the parking lot Luke complained that it was too easy. We ate ravenously on the way back to the Econo Lodge where we soaked for a long time in the hot tub. Again, I couldn’t walk comfortably for a week afterward.